Assumptions; we all make them. We may make them about the weather, about a shop, or about someone we see in the street. We may try not to, may scould ourselves when we do make them. We may feel guilty if we do make an assumption.
I've heard a few about myself recently.
“If you still live at home you obviously can't cope by yourself.”
(No, I just can't afford a place of my own at the moment. Nothing unusual in the current climate)
“If you're single you must be a lesbian.”
(Errmmmm... let's talk about that in a moment shall we?)
“If you don't have a car then you must be a stupid hippy.”
(No, just can't afford one. Have you seen how much it costs to run one? It's on a par with why I don't have my own house. Although, despite my love of flying, I do try to think about the environment. That and I really do love walking.)
Let's talk about why I'm single shall we? It amuses me when people make assumptions about my personal life, often without asking. Because, if the person asked, they'd find a wealth of information.
Right now I'm stupidly busy. It's taken me many years to get to the point I'm at. In that time, I've managed to put my life on hold thanks to being a complete and utter idiot. Now I'm actually doing something I love and, you know what? I want to succeed at it. Writing and film making for me aren't just past times. They're the beat to my life, my oxygen, my reason for waking and my reason for going to sleep. I adore them. At the moment, to be able to fully dedicate myself to someone would be difficult. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to be in a relationship.
There are also those who don't want to be in relationships, for whatever reason. They could have gone through abuse, or just feel that being with someone isn't for them. Hopefully the person who made the above comment will one day read a report on asexuality. Hopefully they'll see that the world isn't just black and white, but many shades of grey (the comments section is down there for you to make your “50 Shades of Grey” jokes. Go on, you know you want to!).
For me, there's also a medical reason. For a long time, I've known that, without some serious scientific intervention, I'll never be able to conceive. It's made me wonder if, like animals, we give off pheromones, signalling that we're ready and able to bear children. Perhaps I lack this. Perhaps I don't give off the “scents” to attract someone. It's a tough one to face up to, but I believe that if I'm to have children then I'll adopt. Because I'd love to give a little life a home. And one day, hopefully I will.
I'll never forget a day at work a couple of years ago. A relative had come in and, for some reason, she singled me out. She told me that she'd adopted her children and talked me through the process. Once she'd finished, I looked at her in complete shock and told her what I've just told you. There was no was she could have known. But it was definitely reassuring.
Don't get me wrong, I love the comments and compliments. Keep them coming! I love it when someone tells me I'm pretty. Makes me feel like a real woman. Makes me feel desired. Because isn't that what many of us want? We want to feel as though we could rock someone's world.
Thankfully, I know that the people who read this blog are wonderful. They're caring, loving, and extremely understanding. Not the kind to make crazy assumptions at all, are you?! I thank you for passing by here as regularly as you do. For reading and commenting, for spreading the love. Most of all, I thank you for being yourselves. You're all beautiful, all desirable, and all very much loved.