Assumptions; we all make them. We may
make them about the weather, about a shop, or about someone we see in
the street. We may try not to, may scould ourselves when we do make
them. We may feel guilty if we do make an assumption.
I've heard a few about myself recently.
“If you still live at home you
obviously can't cope by yourself.”
(No, I just can't afford a place of my
own at the moment. Nothing unusual in the current climate)
“If you're single you must be a
lesbian.”
(Errmmmm... let's talk about that in a
moment shall we?)
“If you don't have a car then you
must be a stupid hippy.”
(No, just can't afford one. Have you
seen how much it costs to run one? It's on a par with why I don't
have my own house. Although, despite my love of flying, I do try to
think about the environment. That and I really do love walking.)
Let's talk about why I'm single shall
we? It amuses me when people make assumptions about my personal life,
often without asking. Because, if the person asked, they'd find a
wealth of information.
Right now I'm stupidly busy. It's taken
me many years to get to the point I'm at. In that time, I've managed
to put my life on hold thanks to being a complete and utter idiot.
Now I'm actually doing something I love and, you know what? I want to
succeed at it. Writing and film making for me aren't just past times.
They're the beat to my life, my oxygen, my reason for waking and my
reason for going to sleep. I adore them. At the moment, to be able to
fully dedicate myself to someone would be difficult. Don't get me
wrong, I'd love to be in a
relationship.
There
are also those who don't want to be in relationships, for whatever
reason. They could have gone through abuse, or just feel that being
with someone isn't for them. Hopefully the person who made the above
comment will one day read a report on asexuality. Hopefully they'll
see that the world isn't just black and white, but many shades of
grey (the comments section is down there for you to make your “50
Shades of Grey” jokes. Go on, you know you want to!).
For
me, there's also a medical reason. For a long time, I've known that,
without some serious scientific intervention, I'll never be able to
conceive. It's made me wonder if, like animals, we give off
pheromones, signalling that we're ready and able to bear children.
Perhaps I lack this. Perhaps I don't give off the “scents” to
attract someone. It's a tough one to face up to, but I believe that
if I'm to have children then I'll adopt. Because I'd love
to give a little life a home. And one day, hopefully I will.
I'll
never forget a day at work a couple of years ago. A relative had come
in and, for some reason, she singled me out. She told me that she'd
adopted her children and talked me through the process. Once she'd
finished, I looked at her in complete shock and told her what I've
just told you. There was no was she could have known. But it was
definitely reassuring.
Don't
get me wrong, I love
the comments and compliments. Keep them coming! I love it when
someone tells me I'm pretty. Makes me feel like a real woman. Makes
me feel desired. Because isn't that what many of us want? We want to
feel as though we could rock someone's world.
Thankfully,
I know that the people who read this blog are wonderful. They're
caring, loving, and extremely understanding. Not the kind to make
crazy assumptions at all, are you?! I thank you for passing by here
as regularly as you do. For reading and commenting, for spreading the
love. Most of all, I thank you for being yourselves. You're all
beautiful, all desirable, and all very much loved.
Thank
you!
