I Do Not Regret The Things I've Done, But Those I Did Not Do

Well, this is it! The final hours of 2011. And what a year it's been!

As 2010 rolled over to 2011, I was feeling fairly hopeless. It's something I go through on a regular basis, especially at this time of the year. I'm more of a Christmas person than a New Year person. I'm one of those people who's quite happy to crawl into bed at 11pm, put my headphones on and ignore the noise outside.

But 2011 was the year I decided to do something. It was time to put on the big boots, take life by the horns and grab every opportunity that came by. And I'm glad I did! In the past 12 months I've made new friends, met old ones, taken part in a variety of creative events and the first book in the Veetu Industries series will be hitting bookshelves and e-readers in January. In the words of my brothers, it's been an epic year! And 2012 promises to be even more crazy.

I'm looking forward to seeing friends again, both old and new, taking trips and doing all the work that goes with chasing dreams. Chasing your dreams isn't hard. You just have to have the determination to do it. You have to know what you want, say "That's it", put on the s**tkicker boots and go for it. Seriously, there's nothing stopping you! If you want to to do it you can do it. Don't listen to the naysayers. Lay down your plans and just go for it! Because what have you got to lose, right?

There's fear in doing what you want to do and it takes time to conquer those fears. I'm one of those people who, when they get into a routine, they're comfy there. I'll stay there, in my little nest, and ride along with it. I don't like change. It freaks me out. But I realised that I needed to do something with my life, that I couldn't spend the rest of it feeling unfulfilled. Mostly, I'm scared of hitting a certain age and having the "What if's" flying round my head. What if I'd just sat here, waiting for this film to take off?" "What if I'd sent those books out?" "What if I'd stopped being scared of what people would think about me?" I never want to get to that point in my life. As the quote goes, "I do not regret the things I've done, just those I did not do." I don't want to spend my life regretting all the things I could have done.

One of the things that irks me is a film I started on in early 2010. It was a great project and the person involved is probably the sweetest person on the face of the planet. 6 weeks after we began thrashing things out, the brakes were slammed on and have been on ever since. It's been a frustrating couple of years, waiting and hoping. But I believe that things happen for a reason. I believe that doors open and close as we need them. We can't force these doors open. I honestly believe that this film will be picked up again in some form or another. I honestly believe that the door shut on it (for now) so that I could focus on other things, so that I could get the books out there. Now that that's happened I believe that other doors will begin opening again.

It can happen for anyone. You your life what you do. Want to do something? Go for it! Don't spend too much time thinking "What if..". Do it. Don't live to regret the things you haven't done. It's your life, live it!

Happy 2012 everyone! May your New Year be filled with love, life, prosperity and every one of your dreams being fulfilled. Be happy and love life!

Welcome To Svenfur (Part 1)

Welcome to the city that's about to become your new home! Svenfur is the city that's home to Mars On The Rise. Settle in, and enjoy. :)

Welcome to Svenfur

Everyone says that their city is the one people come to in order to seek their fortune. Everyone says their city is the one with roads paved of gold.

Svenfur is not one of these cities. Although situated on the coast, it is a city of industry, driven by the grinding gears of innovation. Or so they would have you believe. It is more a place where great ideas come to and are transformed into something completely different.

On the edges of the city, even in the more upmarket areas, are the wheels that grind out these ideas, one after the other. Huge churning factories which belch soot and smoke into the air, decorating everything close by in a dull hue of grey. God forbid if you live beside one of these places in the nicer areas; your house would be worth next to nothing, an eyesore and an abomination.

But no, you live in the penthouse suites of the Grand Hotel, over looking the sea. Before you is the pier, a green steel structure rising from the sea, a place of contradictions. It is a stretch of bawdy dance halls and games, a place where the rich go to pretend that they are not rich and where the poor go to begin their evening of singing, dancing and pretending they are not poor. You may have walked along the boards of the pier. You may have taken in the bright lights and the clashing smells of sickly sweet and sea salty food. You may even have stopped to listen to a young man playing his trade beside the railings.

Stretching before you is the wide promenade of Sea View Road. Unlike most thoroughfares in the city, it is kept clean, the usual layer of dirt nothing more than a memory. Along it dance delicately twisting gas lamps, flames held high to light the paths of those who come and go. Rambling along the spacious roads are the usual assortment of horse drawn cabs, trams and brightly coloured twin decked omnibuses. Mingling with the various forms of transport are the small, steam powered walkers, clunking devices which resemble headless horses and are probably more expensive to keep. 

Welcome to Svenfur Part 2.

Compact Beauty

At a Tom Thumb sized 4 and 1/2 inches, my first chapbook arrived today. It's a brave new world that I've entered, one which I know little about. A world I was initiated into with a piece of extreme beauty. "Useless Woman" by Michele is so stunningly beautiful that it begs to be savoured in a candlelit corner. Filled with wonderfully written poems, only 10 of these tiny books were created and I'm proud to own number 10. Set in a gorgeous Victorian layout, I know I'm blessed to own one. It shall become a treasured possession and, hopefully, will be the beginning of a wonderful collection!

Michele's lovely so go and say hello over at her blog!
She'll tell you more about how she made the gorgeous little books.
(Because, for some reason, my camera's mysteriously lost the photos I took...)

2011 Was... A Year of Friendship and New Opportunities

Following on from the hashtag 2011was, I wanted to write a full post about it. I've been meaning to write this for a while but it didn't seem appropriate in the middle of October.

2011 has been amazing! Nothing more, nothing less! I've made a bunch of wonderful new friends, met old ones face to face for the first time (and discovered they're even more amazing in real life!), reconnected with even older friends, been a part of some amazing events and now I stand at the beginning of another new chapter to my life.

The next few months are going to be incredible. Busy, but incredible. I feel so lucky and am so thankful that I have this wonderful group of friends to travel this journey with me. I must be the luckiest person on the face of the planet! Not only have I been given a dream opportunity on a plate, but I've been blessed with this amazing group of people to lend a helping hand. I can't even count on my fingers what they're all doing for me but it's INCREDIBLE!

2012, without a shadow of a doubt, is going to rock. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be filled with as much life and as excitement as the past 12 months have been. This time last year I would never have thought that life would have come as far as it has. Sure, not everything I want to happen has happened (I'm still in the UK rather than filming in Arizona, and I'm still resolutely single, and still without a car. But these things will come!) but what has happened has been beyond my wildest dreams. Four years ago when I started putting my life back together, I never dreamed that I'd be doing what I am now. I never dared think that I'd be given the opportunity to grasp my dreams and run with them. It's... indescribable. There are no words to describe how I feel right now. None at all. Just... WOW!

Thank you, to all my unbelievably amazing friends, who put up with me on a daily basis and love me all the same. (I love you guys loads too!)

2012 is just around the corner. A whole brand new year of opportunities. Let's go and rock it! 

Messing Around On The Interwebs

This is more of a test post.

You see, I'm trying to link this thing up to the Facebook and Twitter. If it works, Hooray! If not, back t'drawing board.

While you're here and reading this, be sure to check out the book launch page at the top of the blog. Believe me, you don't want to miss that! ;)

Nerves and Promotional Ideas

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse...

Well, I'm hoping that's what it'll be like come Christmas Eve! Currently we're sitting at December 18th, exactly a month before Mars On The Rise is available for purchase. Excited? Yes! Nervous? Most definitely! Stressing over the little details? Of course!

You see, right now I'm working on how to promote the book. How do you promote yourself when you're new? Of course, you have to get as much exposure as possible. But I'm one of those people who hates walking into a group and saying, "O hai! I have something to sell!". I hate seeing it on the groups and forums I spend time on. It drives me batty. And, at this current moment, I don't have a lot of time to sit and get involved in said groups and forums. There's too much else to do! But I'm enjoying the process of making lists. Hopefully I'll follow them.

If anyone has any clever ideas for marketing, please get in touch. I won't bite! Well, not much!

PS: Don't forget to check out the Kinky Christmas gift!

A Kinky Christmas Gift - NSFW

A little Christmas gift for all my wonderful friends, fans and supporters. Thank you for everything, for loving me and walking beside me. You're wonderful!

WARNING: This piece is most definitely NSFW!! You have been warned!








Lightening forked across the sky, briefly lighting the night-darkened downs. A breath later and thunder rumbled, shaking the building, while rain pounded the summer parched ground.

Sitting in the window, Cedo listened to the rain, smiling as more lightening illuminated the garden. The arched window was dappled with raindrops, each chasing the other to sill. He shivered at the sound and drew his knees to his chest. He adored stormy nights, adored listening to the rain patter against the windows. Their power and speed excited him, sending tiny shocks along his skin and spine.

Despite the rain, the house was quiet. The servants were all below stairs and Erus had left for the evening, citing some meeting he had to speak at. A wolfish grin crossed Cedo's lips and he slid from the window. While the cat is away...

It had been several long weeks since he had last held his mate in his arms. Several long, and dry, weeks. Like the summer which had tickled the grass prematurely brown, Cedo felt as if he had been left to shrivel and die in the heat of the sun. And, like the plants, he demanded to be fed.

Stripping the clothes from his back, he filled the tin bath with steaming water and slipped into its welcoming embrace. Whipping up the soap from the floor, he closed his eyes and let his head fall back, his hands dropping to the water as images danced across his closed eyelids.

Stepping from the bath, he admired his nude form in the mirror before slipping into black breeches, a white, collarless shirt and a black embroidered tailcoat. Standing before the mirror, the grin never left his lips as he ran the brush through his hair. Heavy waves of honey-blond hair fell around his shoulders and down his back, framing his face and giving him an almost heavenly appearance.

Almost.

Mischief glimmered in his hazel eyes, the storm energising him. Creeping from the room, Cedo made his way along hallways and winding corridors, skin tingling as thoughts of what was to come danced through his mind.

Easing open the door to the cellar, he stood at the brow of the steps and listened. Sounds of groaning metal and muted curses reached his ears and the grin only widened. It was time to play, time to break the work monotony.

Creeping down the steps, he hid in the shadows that crept along the walls. In the heart of the carved, stone room, stood Billy. His sun-blond hair was braided down his back and his work clothes were stained with grime, once white sleeves rolled to his elbows. A machine of monstrous proportions towered over him, four legs splayed outwards so he could reach the parts he needed. Strong fingers moved back and forth, lacing wires before fitting them back into the great fighting machine. The guns attached to its sides lay silent, hanging towards the floor and the head of the beast was strained upwards, showing off an array of wires and pistons. Soon, armour plating would be added and the great, clomping machine would be sent to the front line.

But that would come later. A lot later. For on this dark and stormy night, Cedo had other plans. Plans which did not involve cabling and cannons.

Sneaking behind Billy, he wrapped his arms around his waist, lips finding the soft nape of his neck. Nipping and kissing, he savoured his mate's scent. Strong, masculine and musky; Billy reeked of everything he adored.

Swinging the access panel back into place, Billy peered over his shoulder, innocent wonder in his eyes. Oh, he had no idea what was coming. No idea what Cedo had planned.

“Y'all right, Cedo?”

Chuckling, he nipped at the soft skin, not caring that he was saturating himself in the stench of the worker bee. He wanted to be a part of that aroma, wanted to feel it seeping from his pores, a reminder of the man he loved.

“Bored.” He licked his lips before touching the tip of his tongue to Billy's throbbing jugular. “It is raining. I refuse to go out in this. Besides.” He tugged Billy away from his task. “Erus is out and it has been a long time. Too long...”

Sighing, Billy wiped his hands on his already filthy trousers and turned to face Cedo. Reflected in gem-like blue eyes, Cedo could see the lust which had set his face, eyes gleaming with the potential of what was to come. He wanted to ease out of his clothes and feel the power that was trapped within his lover's body. Wanted to feel the emotions only he could awaken.

Linking his arms around Billy's neck, he gently kissed him, coaxing him away from the lumbering cannon and towards the wheeled desk. Kicking on the brakes, Cedo leaned against it, legs slyly spreading as he pulled his lover into his embrace. Lips quickly slid together, kisses quickly becoming hot. Rugged fingers slid along the hem of his clothes, seeking out his skin. He shivered and moaned, writhing beneath the teasing onslaught. How desperately he wanted to remove the constricting garments and feel the air against his skin.

Lips moved from his and to his neck, drawing skin between teeth. Clenching his teeth, Cedo hissed, his head falling to one side and exposing his throat. He wanted to be marked, wanted the world to see he was owned. Billy's arms tightened around him, pulling him from the desk.

A rough growl filled his ear. “Take ya britches down.”

The words made him shiver, the hackles on his neck rising. Already his cock was beginning to stir, his skin tingling. Wriggling from Billy's tight embrace, he pushed the restricting garment to the floor, never blushing as he stepped out of it. There was no need for embarrassment; they both wanted what was about to happen. Cedo's eyes slid along Billy's tall, taunt body, a smirk playing on his lips as he took in the growing bulge in the other's trousers.

Wrapping his hands around his naked hips, he stood, legs spread, and watched Billy kick a stool from behind the desk. Its wheels clacked over smooth floor, stopping before him. With a smirk which mirrored Cedo's, Billy sat himself and patted his knee. Knots of excitement wrapped in his stomach, his cock throbbing as he moved. Placing his hands on floor, he slid himself over Billy's knee, his erection rubbing teasingly against rough fabric. His hair brushed the floor, a screen which gave him a view of only grey floor while fingers gently folded his shirt and jacket into the small of his back. He was fully, and scarily, exposed.

Never had he been in such a position and it gave him an odd mix of vulnerability and security. Despite his mother never laying so much as a hand to him, he felt oddly at home with his rear in the air.

Billy never said anything. Fingers began to crawl over his exposed flesh, cupping and squeezing his buttocks. Squirming, he mewled as a thick digit found its way along his crack and to his sensitive entrance. Bracing himself, Cedo rose, encouraging it to slide in and find the spot that would make him howl. Instead, Billy placed a hand in his back, pushing back to his lap. His lover's erection was evident, pressing into his belly, and Cedo wondered how long it would be before Billy caved and took him.

Then it came, an open-handed slap which cracked against his skin and made him squeak. Yet, as the slight pain abated, it left behind the most wonderfully warm feeling, a feeling which left him craving more. Again the fingers searched his flesh, exploring and discovering, sliding over ticklish skin. His breath came in tiny gasps and he waited, impatiently.

Another smack, another gasp and another wash of warmth. To be laid out and punished in such a way had a homely feel to it and he imagined how Billy would have looked, stretched over his mother's knee and taking a spanking. The thought made the feelings grow and his cock twitch. He mewled and rubbed himself against the torturous lap.

Again and again the hand came, sending vibrations through his thighs and straight to his cock. Cedo gasped and moaned, pushing himself forward with every slap. He wanted to feel his orgasm bloom and explode, taking him over and washing him away on the joyous release. It had been too long since Billy and he had last done anything remotely loving. There had been the odd stolen kisses but, beneath the demanding gaze of their Master, they were few and far between. Now they had the opportunity to be with one another even if it was in the depths of the cellar.

Above him, Billy growled. “Get up.”

Dazed, he slid from Billy and to his knees. His vision came and went, his eyes heavy. Hands were offered and Cedo got to his feet. He allowed himself to be moved to the desk, his hands placed on the varnished, well worn surface. His hips were moved and his back dipped, his buttocks once again in the air. Never did he protest, just allowing Billy to do whatever he wanted.

Behind him, Cedo heard his mate undress, clothing dropped to the cool floor with a swish. Calloused hands gripped his hips and his buttocks were spread. A groan he did not realise he was holding rumbled from his chest as Billy's long, thick cock finally slid into him. Cedo felt his knees begin to give way but Billy was not going to let him go anywhere, his hands supporting him. This was what he had been waiting for. He had been waiting to be filled, waiting for rough, yet gentle, hands to hold him, carcass him, love him.

And then Billy moved with slow, languid thrusts. Unlike their Master, Billy treated Cedo with a love and respect he had never known. Their moments together were filled with everything Cedo had ever dreamed of. Billy was his and he was Billy's.

Arching his neck, he gazed at Billy, a slow smile on his lips. Watching his mate brought him great pleasure. Knowing that he was producing such feelings made him far happier than he ever thought he would be. Billy returned his gaze, his lips twitching into a smile and his sky-blue eyes glazed with lust.

Giving a nod, Cedo lowered his head and arched his back. A breath later and Billy picked up the pace, rutting into him. Both growled and howled, Cedo's fingers scratching splinters from the desk. He cried to Billy, begged him to end the relentless onslaught of unfulfilled pleasure. A hand crept along his back, over his flank and to his aching cock. Fingers closed around it, forming a fist, and pumping him in time to their movements.

A second later and it was over. Throwing his head back, Cedo howled his lover's name, his body going rigid as he spent himself. He felt Billy reach orgasm, spending himself deep inside of him. Panting, they clung to the feelings of freedom that flowed over them, holding onto them before falling into each other's arms.

Outside the storm still raged. In the shadow of the great machine, Cedo and Billy fell into each other's arms and gave themselves over to the spirit of the youthful night.

~~~~

Cedo and Billy feature in the Veetu Industries series. Book 1, Mars On The Rise, will be available in January 2012. For more info, visit http://www.facebook.com/Veetu.Industries