Showing posts with label Doubters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doubters. Show all posts

Saturday, 30 April 2016

Dealing With The Doubters

It doesn't matter what you decide to do with your life, there will always be people who doubt what you're doing. You've probably already come across people like that. They'll tell you that what you're doing isn't worthy, is unnecessary, or that no one will even look at it.

This is something that happens a lot in the arts world. Whether you're a photographer, writer, graphic designer, musician, actor, film-maker, artist, there will be someone, somewhere who has uttered those immortal words, “What you're doing is complete crap. Why don't you get a proper job?”. Art, to many people, isn't a “proper job”. Yet those who find the time to put you down are sometimes the ones that will see highly paid sports, film, or music stars as being immortal. Everyone else who is working in that industry is, to many people, not worthy of the same kind of adoration.



So how do you deal with it?


Ignore It

That can be a hard one, especially if the words are coming from a friend or family member. Words have power and the negative ones are the ones that live with us the longest. They're the hardest to forget and the most painful ones to remember. Don't give in to what they're saying. Often the person will want you to react and start an argument. Just smile and walk away.


Don't React

The best thing you can do is not to react. People are allowed an opinion but then so are you. You're doing what you're doing for a reason. You may not know that reason yet but there's a feeling inside of you that you have to keep going, that there's some end goal that you'll eventually reach. You don't know what that end goal is (a lot of us don't even if we have an idea of where we'd like to end up). Tell them that they're allowed their opinion and, again, smile and walk away.


Don't Go Looking For It

You might already know which places or people are going to tell you that your life's work is useless and the best thing you can do is not go there. Whether this is a bar, club, website or online group, the best thing might be for you to step out of it. If you feel the need to go back, give it a few weeks or months before you do. If you have work out in the world, don't go looking for reviews. I made that mistake when I was first publishing books and I now only go to Amazon or Goodreads to buy or rate books. I don't go looking for the reviews or ratings that others have left on my own.


Surround Yourself With Good People

Have you found some really awesome people who are supportive of what you do? Awesome! Hang on to them. They're precious people and, while they may not like everything you do, you know that you can trust them to be truthful. Rather than just dismissing what you're doing, they'll be able to point what needs fixing and pick you up when the going gets tough. Look after them like you would your own family because these people are hard to come by but will stay with you forever.



What you are doing has a deep meaning to you. Follow what your heart is telling you and keep putting your beautiful work out there.  


Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Haters Gonna Hate

Doubters.

Don't you love 'em?

I've had my fair share of them. I still get them from time to time. Right from when I was in school, I had people telling me my dreams were worthless. Heck, I had people tell me I was worthless. And those words are soul destroying. They tear your very person apart and leave seeds of doubt and pain in your very being.

Words have power. Immense power. It's why they're written down by people, by the religious and non-religious alike. And I think people forget this. They forget that their words have the power to build someone up or completely and utterly destroy their world.

It's taken me a long time to see past the doubters. It's taken me a long time to give them the finger and say "Fuck 'em" and live my life how I want to live. It's my decision to follow my dreams not theirs. It's my choice in what I want to create in this world.

And it's your choise to. Seriously, I know it hurts. I know you can see their words are ingrained on your eyes and in your mind. They'll stay there forever. Some of the words of the people who have put me down remain with me to this day. But now I see them as encouragement to keep going, rather than to give up and fade away.

You're not worthless. You are someone. You're here for a reason, even if you don't discover that reason until you're 80. Heck, you may never discover that reason until you're on your death bed and a thought comes to mind. You have a reason for living. Put your hand on your chest. Feel your heart beating. THAT'S your reason for living. Live your life however the heck you want to live it. You want to be a musician, a writer, a nurse, a doctor, a train driver, whatever? Go and do it! Never give up on that dream! And never, ever let anyone else talk you in to giving up.

A couple of days ago I was having one of my "I'm hopeless. Everything I do is crap" days. Oddly, at the same time, I came across the following set of gifs (if anyone knows the video it's from, send me the link and I'll edit this part out). Now I'm passing them on to you. You can do whatever you want to take. Some may say it takes talent. But if you've got the determination, you can go far.