Friday, 1 August 2014

The Break Up

I had a break up recently. It had been coming for a while but it had to be done. It broke my heart and I've spent many hours wondering if it was the right decision.

They asked for money. I gave it to them. They asked for my devotion. I gave it to them. They asked for my undivided attention. I gave it to them.

In return, they gave me something back. I felt like they loved me. I felt like they wanted me to be a part of their life.

Then they started asking me for more money, more time, and more attention. This time I refused when I realised I wasn't getting what I wanted in return. Their devotion to me had dwindled to nothing. Their eyes were looking at another. Their ears were listening to everything but what I had to say.

After fifteen long years, suddenly I wasn't worthy of their affection any longer. My looks had obviously gone. I probably gained weight. Maybe I was demanding too much of them. Maybe I'd wanted too much when I'd asked them to leave me a little something in return for all the money I was giving them. Who knows? But suddenly the eighteen year old Argentinian cutie was obviously a better option than the 30-something who still suffered from acne.

The funny thing is, I didn't break up with a person. No, I broke up with my favourite band. The final straw came when the last little thing they gave us for free (short tour videos on You Tube) were put behind a pay wall. Already I was paying for albums, fan club membership, forum access, merchandise, concert tickets, meet and greets, heck, even wine and coffee. I poured my life and soul into following and supporting them for the best part of twenty years. So when they decided to start charging me to watch the single free thing they'd been giving us for the past few years, I gave up. I'd had enough.

And I'm not sad to say that it utterly broke my heart to do it. They'd come into my life when I'd needed them the most, when I was on the edge of suicide. And now I'm kissing them goodbye. Will I miss them? Yes, I will.

Will I go back to them?

Well, we'll see. They'll have to do a heck of a lot of work to win me back.

But, for now, I'll be enjoying the freedom of musical singledom. Who knows; I might find my next big love interest!

1 comment:

  1. Oh, musically single? Can i introduce you to my friends, Type O Negative, Carnivore, Seventh Void and A Pale Horse Named Death...? They're really *great* guys, wonderful personalities, they don't ask for much and they never ever make you pay to love them... Go on, give them a try... we can double date... i'm sure you'll find something about them you like! :D (In other words, i *know* how frustrating that is!) Stay Negative! ~~candy