Thursday, 18 October 2012

One Pill To Rule Me

I work around death.

What a great way to start a blog, right?!

It's true, though. My day job (when I'm not here trying to finish the latest book) is working in end of life care. Death is, sadly, a daily part of our job. What it's made me realise is that every moment is precious and that every moment passing is not one to waste. For me, it's why I work as hard as I do. But it also leaves me with a few regrets.

One of them is the events I can't get to. I get invited to so many amazing events yet can only ever really attend a few. One of the reasons is money (yeah, we all have that problem!) while the day and night jobs don't help much either.

The other is my health. I can't remember if I've really spoken about it here (definitely spoken about being a drug addict ). Thanks to my stupidity and depriving my brain of essential chemicals during those hedonistic periods, I came out the other end with bipolar. To make sure I don't have another breakdown, of which there's been several, the latest one being August 2011, I live my life in an extremely regimented way. A way which includes schedules, lots of advance planning and vast quantities of anti-psychotic medication. Every night I pump 300mgs of Seroquel into my system, several times the amount the average user takes. It takes hold in around 20 minutes, after which only World War 3 breaking out or my stupidly loud alarm will wake me.

Because of this, I plan my entire life around that one little pill. If I'm going anywhere I have to know exactly when I'll be back, who's travelling home with me (No car for me yet!) and how much time there is between me getting into bed and having to get up. It's stressful and, to be truthful, I do loathe it at times. But, for now, it's the way for me to completely repair my body.

This year has been, without a doubt, one hellva a year! It's been busy, fun and tiring. 2013 is going to be a great one as well! I just wanted to let all you wonderful people who are putting on events that you're doing an incredible job and that, next year, hopefully I'll be able to get to more of them. I don't want people to think that I dislike them or hate them for not going to their events. I'll support them any way I can, especially if I can't make it. If you want to pop one up on this blog or any of the Facebook pages, go for it! Got absolutely no problem with people pimping the amazing stuff they do. My day job is actually as an events manager (strange place for one, I know!) and if you ever need a hand, just shout! Always here for the brilliant people who make this world a better and happier place to live in.

And now I'm going to Gangnam Style over to the kettle and make us all a brew. Peace and love to you all!

1 comment:

  1. As far as I'm concerned, YOU are one of the people who make the world a better place. :)

    Bipolar is definitely helped by schedules, and it's good that you are able to do that for yourself. And if the Seroquel helps you, that is great. Often, the meds can be worse than the symptoms of the illness they are trying to treat.

    Keep doing what you're doing! XO