“What’s your next
mission gonna be?” – Kate – ‘Mission To Lars’
Many of us have that
“mission” inside of us. A gnawing feeling that eats away at us
every day. For some, it’s being able to see a certain person or
place. For others, it’s that sense that there’s something bigger
out there. Something that they need to do but aren’t sure how to
achieve it.
But how do you follow
that feeling in your soul? In a world that’s being with physical
and digital noise, it can be hard to listen to that little voice
inside of you. Social media, the news, and a million and one other
things all fight for our time. It gets to a point where the colour of
a dress is more important than what our own mind is telling us to do.
You have to do it. You
have to follow this beacon in your heart. It's a voice that you can't
ignore. But, when you've come home from a long day at work or are
dealing with screaming kids, what do you do? It feels as though
there's no time to play, nor anyone to listen if you do decide to
start your journey.
And if you do decide to
step on to that road? It's a hard one. It's long and winding. It'll
be painful at times. Many times all you'll want to do is give up and
go back to your old way of life.
But that little voice
stops you from doing that. It urges you to keep going. To look around
the next corner and under the next rock.
For many years, I
stilled my little voice. I hide it behind drink and drugs. I silenced
it with day jobs and other activities. But slowly, that voice began
to fight back. It began to claw and howl, reminding me of the life I
wanted to live. And slowly, I began to take steps towards that life.
And it's scary. I don't
like change. I find a nice, comfortable spot and I won't move. My
mother tells a story that, as a child, I'd sit on the floor
surrounded by my toys. If I had to crawl to fetch something, I didn't
bother instead only playing with those within my reach. To be blunt,
change scares the living shit out of me.
So I'm surprised I
didn't go grey when I decided to follow the path I'm currently on (I
probably have but I haven't see my natural hair colour since I was
about 16). It's a hard path to follow and there's no promise of
success at the end of it. Yet I constantly see the images of what
could be in my mind and so I follow my heart. It's telling me that I
need to walk along this winding road and see where it takes me.
Because you really don't know what's at the end of it.
“It's just breaking
through fear. It's like jumping out of an aeroplane.” - 'Mission To
Lars'
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