Living Las Vegas Kickstarter - Final Update

Hi guys!

Well, here it is. The end of the road for the Kickstarter. I just want to say a HUGE thank you to everyone who supported this. For all the work you put in and all the love you gave. It's so very much appreciated. 

While the project wasn't funded this time around, it will be next time! Yes, I'm a little bit heartbroken by it as something like this takes an incredible amount of work. But maybe this wasn't the right time for it to happen. Please do keep in touch. If you're not on my Facebook page, please do come over and say hi and I'll keep you posted with when this happens again.

https://www.facebook.com/thequeenofsteam/

Here's some final stats for you on just how far this project reached.

The Facebook adverts were viewed in excess of 3,000 times.

The Twitter links were viewed 6,316 times.

Two hundred press releases were sent.

This project had over 10,000 views.

Thank you so much for all you did! 

See you next time!

Rae :) x

You Are Amazing

Never forget...

You are beautiful, both inside and out. Don't let the media, or anyone else, tell you that you're not.

You are talented. Just because you aren't where you want to be yet doesn't mean that you won't get there.

You are loved. Your family and friends love you as much, if not more, than any partner may do.

You are kind. Don't allow your confidence to be broken by others perceptions of you. Their actions speak more of them than they do of you.

You are desirable. Someone may not be knocking down your door right now but you don't know who will appear tomorrow.

You are courageous. You may be waking up to a world that wants to bring you down. Yet every day you face it with courage and dignity. That takes more strength than you can possibly imagine.

You are not a failure. So you're angry/hurt/sad? This will pass. It's what you allow it to do to you that matters. Don't dwell on it; you're human and have emotions. But move on from it.

You are an inspiration. People will look up to you for many reasons but they may never tell you. Praise the people who inspire you.

You make the world a better place just by being in it. Keep loving and living because your life, and your spirit, are needed.

You are amazing. Never forget that.

I Want To Be A Writer...

...but where do I start?

Awesome! Welcome to a beautiful world filled with magic and mischief!

To get started, you'll need a pen, paper (or a computer), inspiration, and patience.

Don't think about what you want to write. Just start.

But I don't like what I'm writing.

Welcome to the dark side. It's not pretty, is it? This is where the self doubt creeps in. It's where your biggest fears lurk. Terror and horror will eat away at you.

Do you want to know a secret?

You've got to work through it. Keep writing, even if you hate what you're seeing. It takes time, and patience, to become good at your craft. Even if you only write a few words a day, you're still getting closer to your goal whether that's a finished poem or a published novel.

I've run out of inspiration.

It happens. Move on to something else for a while (I've spent the past year trying to find funding for a non-fiction project because my inspiration for writing fiction has dried up.). Most writers have a pile of WIPs (Works in Progress) lying around. There's no shame in putting something to one side and coming back to it at a later date.

My life's become too busy to write!

Again, this is a fact of life. Work, family matters, friends, social lives. It all happens. Sometimes we need these distractions to help us focus and regroup our thoughts. I know I do from time to time. It helps to bring things into perspective and realise which projects are the ones I need to be working on. At the end of the day, if you're suddenly not enjoying writing a piece, put it to one side and come back to it at a later date. It took me six years to finish one novel because I couldn't get my mind around it. But, when I did, it took me less than a year to finish both the novel and screenplay.

If you need recommendations on how to manage your time, or just pointers on how to organise your mind, I highly recommend John Parkin's “Fuck It: Do What You Love”.

Being a writer should be fun. Writing is the soul's way of letting loose and having fun. Don't let the mountain of completing a piece get to you. Instead, see every obstacle as a step closer to your goal. Most of all, make sure to enjoy the process.

~~~

Rae has published several novels, including the award winning Veetu Industries series. Her crowdfunder is still running and can be found at:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/raegee/living-las-vegas

Battling the Monster

Every day, I go to war with my mind, an organ that is in a constant battle to kill me. Every day, I get up and grin at the monster that looms before me. Black and stinking, with bloody fangs and pebble eyes, it grins at me, hoping that today will be its day to win.

The monster has never won. Every morning, I stand firm and grin at it, sending it scampering back to the place from which it has come.

You can't see the monster. But I can. This is the dark side of my brain. The place that tells me I can't do something. One of the haunting, horrible parts of having Bipolar. And whenever something good starts to happen, the monster makes an appearance, snarling and laughing, ready to snatch away whatever I've been building.

As you know, I've been working on several projects recently. Some of them are nearing completion faster than others. And this is when the monster decides to visit.

If you were reading last year, you may remember the Great Pumpkin Delivery of November 2015. It was an event that made me look myself in the eye and finally push beyond the fears that have been building for many years. That event was several hours of pure Hell. Of crying, of not eating, of being on my hands and knees as I fought with every ounce of my being to put the monster to sleep once and for all.

And it's here again. As pieces of the next project fall into place, the slumbering monster rises and stands before me.

You don't deserve this.

You can't do this.

You can't have this. It's not for you.

Crawling behind the blackened beast is the pain. Pain so harsh and so violent that, in the past, it's caused vomiting. It's like your soul is being dragged from your body. Desperately you try and cling to that precious fibre of your being but eventually the searing pain becomes too much to bear. You give up. You sit and cry before closing your eyes and hoping never to open them again.

And all the while, in the back of your head, that rasping voice hisses, Do it. It won't hurt for long and, when it's over, the pain will be gone forever.

Life becomes a battle of wits as I try and piece together this next book while artfully dodging around a creature that would like to see me dead. But, as happens every time, I can feel myself going in to my shut down mode. The mode where I don't talk, don't eat, and don't do anything other than go to work. I push people away and refuse to acknowledge anyone in my sphere. Because, as the monster has told me, I don't deserve any of this, not even people who care about me.

This is probably the hardest post I've ever written. It's also one of the most freeing. Rarely am I honest when it comes to how I truly feel. I much prefer to plaster on a smile and pretend that everything is okay. Because I'm healthy, right, and what more is there to life than that? But... There's always a but...

I don't want to lie to anyone who reads this. Life is hard today. Today hurts and aches with a pain that tears straight through the body. It feels as though I'm slowly being cut open. My eyes are dry and my face aches from the crying. Where there was once light at the end of the tunnel, there is now none. Darkness has settled and, in the distance, I can hear the monster cackling. Its claws are whispering over my skin and its putrid breath is trickling my cheek. I've given this battle my all and now I'm on my knees. The time is nearly upon us.

Yet tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow the sun will rise, and it will set. Life will happen all over again and it's another chance to battle the black monster. To stand up it, and smile, and say, “Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. You don't control me any more.”.

But I'm scared that one day I won't be strong enough to battle the monster that lives in my head.

I'm sorry.

~~~

Rae is an award winning author with several books to her name. When she's not battling the beast inside her head, she enjoys seeing how far life will take her. She's currently running a Kickstarter to help fund her first non-fiction book:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/raegee/living-las-vegas

Pushing Through the Pain

My immune system is broken. I make no bones about it, nor how it came to be that way. This is what nearly 15 years of illegal, and prescription, drug use does to you. It might not happen to everyone but, for me, it's left me having to take life at a slow, steady pace. With love and care, my body will hopefully repair itself. For the time being, I'm eating a healthy diet and loading up on vitamins and minerals. And I'm lucky to be alive, something that I'm eternally grateful for.

With it comes a whole slew of side effects. The exhaustion is crippling and some days it starts before I've even slipped out of bed. My energy levels go up and down more often than a roller coaster. And my social life is non-existent because I'm either too tired, am recovering from some virus, or am trying to avoid another. It's not you, it really is me!

But all of this has given me the time to follow my heart. It's given me the chance to search deep inside of myself and rediscover those hopes and dreams that I'd previously thrown to the wind. It's allowed me to sit back and start working on these things at a slower pace. Things may seem like they're not happening but, deep down, you know that there's a shift happening and that there is something bigger just over the horizon.

Your dreams don't happen overnight. They take a lot of work. So what happens when the inevitable tiredness raises its ugly head? How do you push through the pain and weariness to keep on going?

Often this is when people stumble and stop. The exhaustion and the effort drive them to do it, forcing them to stop and make do with the life they have. Their mind tells them that everything they're working for doesn't exist and that there is no use in carrying on. Why bother when there will be nothing to show for it at the end?

But, rather than going wrong, what if it all goes so right? What if everything you've ever wanted is just going to take one more little push?

When the doubt and the exhaustion arrive, stop for a few days. Take a step back and enjoy the life that you have right now. Look at where you are and all that you've accomplished. Those amazing photographs that everyone comments on? Yep, you took those. That story that everyone is raving about? Yep, you wrote that. That piece of art that's hanging in the little coffee shop in town? Yep, you created that. The song that a stranger is currently passing around social media? Yep, you wrote that.

When I'm too tired to move, I stop and step away from my computer. I go and lie on the sofa. Or read a book. Or listen to some music. When the doubt appears, I think back on the wonderful reviews and comments I've had about my writing. It's the push I need to pick myself up the next day and do a little more.

Just because the big things haven't arrived yet doesn't mean that they won't. They will but you have to keep pushing on through to reach them. Enjoy what you have right now and, once you feel ready, go back to what you were doing.

You can do this, one step at a time...

~~~